


The Floor Is Lava (A Lesson in Team Building)

by tog



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Domestic Avengers, Fluff, Gen, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Over a dumb game bc why not?, Spider-son and iron dad strike again, Team Bonding, Teambuilding, The floor is lava challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-08-22 21:13:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16605554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tog/pseuds/tog
Summary: Peter introduces the team to a game called The Floor is Lava. Tony realizes he's running a zoo and is not impressed.Featuring a brief cameo by a sympathetic T'Challa, and Bucky's (slightly concerning) death wish.





	The Floor Is Lava (A Lesson in Team Building)

**Author's Note:**

> Did anyone ask for this? No. Is that gonna stop me? No. 
> 
> Rest In Peace, Stan Lee. Thank you for helping create a universe that not only offers inspiration but allows so many people a safe space to immerse themselves in.

Tony hasn’t lived a normal day in his life. He’s certain of it.

Usually by this hour he’s dealt with an intergalactic emergency or gotten his head nearly blown off by a god (or Pepper, but at the same time Tony is convinced that Pepper is a god herself so). But he hasn’t had so much as a whiff of anything violent or alien-like, a visit from any gods or super-soldiers, or the government breaking down his front door with a warrant for his arrest. It’s the most peaceful morning he’s had in 40-some years.

Which is why he’s on edge. 

Tony nearly drops his cup of coffee as someone taps on his back, the hot liquid sloshing over his hand.

“What the hell, kid?”

He wants to be angry—he can practically see a stain forming in the area rug beneath him, but damn it just seeing the kid’s smiling face is enough to forget whatever semblance of anger that was previously growing.

He doesn’t even bother to scold him anymore for hanging upside-down from the ceiling. The kid is just about as stubborn as he is.

“Mr. Stark! You’re just in time! Watch this,” he’s got a shit eating grin that looks more mischievous with each passing day he spends at the compound. Tony raises an eyebrow and decides to humor him for a moment, curiosity getting the best of him.

“ATTENTION,” he bellows, mouth cupped with his hands. The rest of the avengers, who were peacefully lounging in the common room and neighboring kitchen are now watching the kid with rapt attention (and Tony holds back a laugh because _hah, he’s not the only one wrapped around the kid’s finger_ ).

“The floor is lava!” and before Tony can even manage the 14 questions that pop into his head, there's a blur of bodies moving as if they were being called to assemble. He vaguely processes Clint abandoning his food to jump into the air vent above the kitchen island, Natasha suspending her body in the air in the doorway leading to the hallway, and Sam standing on top of Bucky’s prone body on the living room floor.

“Bucky, I said the floor is lava. You’re not supposed to be on the ground.” Peter frowns at the super-soldier, but Bucky remains face down in the ground, not even fighting against Sam.

“My only request is that death takes me quickly.” he mumbles into the carpet, which earns him a horrified look from Tony and a laugh out of Peter.

“Same,” Peter says before landing on his feet and facing Tony properly. Tony swivels from Bucky to Peter and he can feel the vein in his forehead throbbing.

“No one is dying today!” it sounds as exasperated as he feels. He makes his way to the kitchen, wiping off the coffee on his hand and grabbing a broom from the corner of the room to swat at Clint’s feet from the air vent.

“Alright bird brain, out. They’re called air vents for a reason.” Clint yelps as the broom handle hits his ankles, and he scurries further up like the goddamn animal he is.

“Why’d you reinforce them to hold my weight then?” he grumbles, completely out of sight.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Tony says, “and even if I _did_ , I reinforced them for Natasha, not you. Speaking of,” he swivels towards the woman who is still holding herself up in the doorframe, “feet. On the floor. Now. The kid already leaves footprints on the ceiling and I don’t need them on the walls too.”

“Hey! I don’t leave footprints.” Tony only raises an eyebrow at Peter before he cracks. “Okay, maybe once or twice. But I mop the ceiling every time, I swear.” Tony can only shake his head (because when did his life become scolding superheroes about hiding in air vents and leaving footprints in places feet should never be in the first place?).

“Sam, really?” and Sam shrugs at him before stepping off of Bucky’s back.

“It’s a good teambuilding activity.”

“Sure, sure. I’ll make sure to mention it to Cap for our next team training session.” Tony says before he leaves for the safety and calm of his workshop.

 

###

 

It keeps happening.

He learns to spend the least amount of time in the shared spaces when more than Peter and himself are around. He’s incredibly fond over the kid (yes, he’s finally admit that to himself. It’s a matter of time before he accidentally confesses it verbally and is teased for the rest of his life by his teammates), but his caffeinated and sleep deprived body can’t handle the random and frequent adrenaline rushes that this “game” produces.

“C’mon Mr. Stark. Even Captain thinks it’s fun.” he pouts, and Tony has half a mind to throw a paper bag over the kids head before he succumbs to his pleading face, the other half telling him to scold the kid for hanging upside down from the ceiling _again_.

“ _Captain America_ thinks mowing grass is fun.” Tony says, making a beeline for the elevator. He passes underneath a levitating Wanda and sidesteps around Bucky’s prone form, mentally reminding himself to call a few psychologists for the man.

“I’m right here, Tony.” Tony looks up to where Steve is hanging from a bookshelf by one hand and reading a book in the other.

And _he_ is the one who has no manners?

“See, he didn’t even deny it.”

“ _Tony_ ,”

“ _Steve_.”

“There’s nothing wrong with feeling rewarded by completing a job well done!”

“God Steve you know you might be 90 years old but that doesn’t mean you have to act like it.”

“O-kay.” Peter drawls out. There’s no real heat behind their words but Tony drops it. 

“I’m all for fun kid, but I’m not about to trapeze myself around the tower and break my neck in the process.”

“That’s the closest he’s ever going to come to admitting he’s _old_ , Peter.” Steve casually says from behind his book. Tony's mouth actually falls open in disbelief, and glares daggers at the super-soldier. He doesn’t even try to hide the smile on his face.

“You can hop on my back, Mr. Stark. I won’t let you melt in the lava.” The kid sounds a little too earnest for the mischievous grin on his face (Tony doesn’t know if he should praise the kid, defend himself, or punch Steve in the face).

“Someone get Bucky off the floor.” Tony huffs out before stepping into the elevator.

 

###

 

“-and I woke up the other night to screaming and nearly had a _heart attack_ , thinking someone was being _murdered_ , but it was Clint on the ground pretending he was melting and Ned and Pete were _laughing_! I could have blasted their heads off if I had the suit on!” Tony says, going shrill at the end of his sentence. T’Challa offers a sympathetic and tired smile to Tony from the other side of the screen. 

“You’ll get used to it. Shuri and Peter are not unlike in their…ideas of _fun_.”

“Remind me to _never_ let them in the same room.”

“A wise decision.”

 

###

 

“This stops now.” Tony grumbles to himself.

Three weeks. Three weeks of dodging this stupid game was enough already, but bringing it into team training? Tony was done.

He flies over to Thor and flips his faceplate up to face the god.

“Hey Sparkles, wanna help me out with something?” Thor looks at him for a second before nodding with a smile. Mischief might be his brother’s forte, but Tony could always rely on Thor to cause a little chaos. He directs Thor to follow his lead before zooming off towards the swinging form of Spiderman.

“I’m glad you’re finally joining in Mr. Star-HEY!” Tony grabs the kid midair and drags him to the floor. He quickly presses on the center of the kid’s suit to deactivate it and hold the loose fabric away from his body. He nods to Thor who meets them on the ground and places the Mjolnir on the stretched out suit.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! What gives?” Peter yells out in a mix of confusion and curiosity. He tries to get up, but Mjolnir keeps the suit in place and leaves him with two options: stay and remain mostly covered, or leave in just his underwear (and Tony knows the kid would never live down the embarrassment of Black Widow or Captain America seeing him in his tighty-whities).

“I’ve had it with this lava thing, so I’m getting rid of the source.” Tony says. Peter blinks up at him for a second, genuinely surprised and assessing the situation at hand before he busts out laughing, and a beat later starts screaming like a madman.

 “Agh! Iron Man has gone rouge! I repeat, Iron Man has fallen to the dark side!” he half laughs, half screams into the comms.

“Avengers…avenge me!” he wails dramatically with his ‘last dying breath’, thrashing around for a few seconds before going limp on the floor.

Tony can’t help but laugh while the rest of the Avengers abandon whatever semblance of proper training they were doing and converge on Tony. They chase him around the training room for a minute before they start turning on each other. Peter’s back from the dead after Thor takes back his hammer and joins Tony at his side in the air, watching the chaos ensue.

“Oh this is so going to trend on Twitter later.” Peter laughs out, “You’re catching all this, right Karen?” he asks his AI. Tony shakes his head with a chuckle before grabbing hold of the kid’s ankles and dangling him above the floor.

“Don’t make me throw you into the lava again, Underoos.”

 

###

 

Tony later saves the video that _mysteriously_ leaks on twitter of the Avengers taking part of what he now knows is (and ~~deeply~~ ~~hates~~ ~~loves~~ finds _really entertaining_ ) The Floor Is Lava challenge.

**Author's Note:**

> catch me on tumblr [here](http://www.toggot.tumblr.com)


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